i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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