had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
