So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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