We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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