sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
