I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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