i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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