You're so nebulous sometimes
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
