Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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