Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
