Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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