dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
