Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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