I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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