I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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