i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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