3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
