Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize