Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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