I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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