I CAN MOONWALK!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
