Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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