Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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