i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Dicks are not precious.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
