I am full of burrito and curiosity
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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