The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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