Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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