thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
