even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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