Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
