can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
