The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize