ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
