On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
