i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
