And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
