Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
