I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
