You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i think i just lost a toe
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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