I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
