It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
