I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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