She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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