You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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