I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
