Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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