i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You're like the curious george of whores
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize