I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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