Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
