it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize