i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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