lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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