Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize