so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
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My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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