Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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