No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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