How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize