Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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