Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
