HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
