i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
